Take a fresh look at your lifestyle.

The gorgeous SEVEN of Chelsea! Thomas Tuchel’s ruthless maintainers beat up a pathetic Norwich

The game had four minutes when we were dealt with a total collapse of Thomas Tuchel. For those unfamiliar with the Chelsea coach in enraged mode, it’s a John Cleese moment, arms twirling, face swollen with spasms of enraged indignity to accompany him.

If there was a tree branch at hand, you could imagine him hitting the roof of your car uselessly, a la Basil Fawlty. Tuchel screamed like a man tortured by imperfection.

Its objective? Callum Hudson-Odoi, 20, is often the subject of a reprimand from Tuchel on the grounds that his talent is too great to allow him to stagnate. His crime? Hesitating and not entering the area to press the ball during an early attack.

Chelsea put on a destructive performance to beat Norwich 7-0, sending a warning shot through the Premier League

Chelsea put on a destructive performance to beat Norwich 7-0, sending a warning shot through the Premier League

Mason Mount scored a hat-trick after a sensational performance, finishing his 25-goal draft in impressive style.

Mason Mount scored a hat-trick after a sensational performance, finishing his 25-goal draft in impressive style.

Mason Mount scored a hat-trick after a sensational performance, finishing his 25-goal draft in impressive style.

Norwich was already last in the Premier League but after a nightmare afternoon his confidence seems decimated

Norwich was already last in the Premier League but after a nightmare afternoon his confidence seems decimated

Norwich was already last in the Premier League but after a nightmare afternoon his confidence seems decimated

MATCH FACTS

Chelsea: Mendy, Chalobah, Thiago Silva, Rudiger, James, Jorginho, Kovacic, Chilwell, Hudson-Odoi, Mount, Havertz.

Subs: Arrizabalaga, Alonso, Christensen, Loftus-Cheek, Saul, Barkley, Ziyech, Azpilicueta, Sarr.

Manager: Thomas Tuchel

Goals: Monte (8, 85, 91), Hudson-Odoi (18), James (42), Chilwell (57), (Aarons 62og).

Norwich: Krul, Kabak, Gibson, Hanley, Aarons, Lees-Melou, Normann, McLean, Giannoulis, Sargent, Pukki.

Subs: Rupp, Dowell, Rashica, Tzolis, Sorensen, Williams, Gunn, Idah, Omobamidele.

Manager: Daniel Farke

Red cards: Gibson (65)

“Let’s be honest, we shouldn’t start pushing in the second minute, if we can push in the first,” Tuchel said by way of explanation.

And therein lies the key to a 7-0 win by the abject Norwich. Tuchel smelled blood. The warm hug he shared before the game with his compatriot Daniel Farke, who worked together at Borussia Dortmund, belied his cold cruelty.

It would be necessary to hold back against a wounded side of Norwich, which was extraordinarily weak and malleable. It’s going to be a long dark winter in Norfolk.

Reece James would similarly receive the Hudson-Odoi treatment three minutes later for not driving into the area. Never mind the defense, it seemed to be the message. Goals are the important thing when you face Norwich.

It was instructive. Chelsea are not here to play, but to compete for the title. This felt like an exhibition game, similar to when the Harlem Globetrotters come to town and a poor team is made to play the role of hapless victims to allow the stars to strut.

The twist here was that the expensive imported stars were absent, with Romelu Lukaku and Timo Werner injured. In his absence, we got ‘Made in Chelsea’.

Once Ruben Loftus-Cheek came in, half of the team were young Chelsea graduates. Mason Mount scored a hat-trick, Callum Hudson-Odoi, goaded on before the game by his coach for inconsistency, responded with a superb performance, with Reece James and Ben Chilwell also scoring, while an own goal by Max Aarons completed the magnificent seven.

Callum Hudson-Odoi had a chance to play with Timo Werner on the bench and terrified Norwich defender Ozan Kabak

Callum Hudson-Odoi had a chance to play with Timo Werner on the bench and terrified Norwich defender Ozan Kabak

Callum Hudson-Odoi had a chance to play with Timo Werner on the bench and terrified Norwich defender Ozan Kabak

The winger entered the roster with a graceful finish as well, bursting behind the defense and coldly edging past Tim Krul.

The winger entered the roster with a graceful finish as well, bursting behind the defense and coldly edging past Tim Krul.

The winger entered the roster with a graceful finish as well, bursting behind the defense and coldly edging past Tim Krul.

Reece James finished off another silky play from Chelsea with a dink on the goalkeeper, flying forward all afternoon.

Reece James finished off another silky play from Chelsea with a dink on the goalkeeper, flying forward all afternoon.

Reece James finished off another silky play from Chelsea with a dink on the goalkeeper, flying forward all afternoon.

Remember the days when Chelsea were the epitome of overseas stars, the first team to line up a starting XI without a British player? All the scorers were English, which will please the viewer Gareth Southgate and all but Chilwell were former academy players.

There was much to praise, but inevitably Mount was the center of attention. His slow start to the season was predictable given his exploits at Euro 2020. Here he exploded into play from the moment he drove home from the edge of the penalty area in the eighth minute to open the scoring.

Tuchel was rightly impressed. “The hat-trick for Mason is huge, a huge moment for him. He puts a lot of pressure on himself to score, but he seems a little lighter and is playing with a little more freedom in the last few games. We like his style, we like where he comes from, we like his personality. He’s a top-tier player and a top-tier guy. ‘

The Chelsea crowd certainly paid off on Saturday, when James hugged the fans after scoring his goal.

The Chelsea crowd certainly paid off on Saturday, when James hugged the fans after scoring his goal.

The Chelsea crowd certainly paid off on Saturday, when James hugged the fans after scoring his goal.

However, not only Mount, but also Hudson-Odoi. At eighteen minutes, Antonio Rudiger took the ball out of defense and fed Mateo Kovacic, who spied on Hudson-Odoi. The weight of the pass was perfectly judged to divide the defense of the opponents. However, it was Hudson-Odoi’s speed that did it, along with his touch and superbly executed finish.

Then there was James. His goal in the 40th minute was indebted to Mount’s beautiful dive and direct pass, which fooled Norwich. James kept an eye on the forward run, controlled the ball and hit it perfectly for 3-0.

The inevitable fourth goal came from Brandon Williams losing possession high up the field to James. Chelsea swept the ball across the field through Jorginho and Kovacic towards Chilwell, who assessed his opportunity in the 57th minute and struck cleanly through the goal and passed the unfortunate Krul from the edge of the area.

Ben Gibson earned himself a red card after his reckless tackle on Reece James as it went from bad to worse for Norwich.

Ben Gibson earned himself a red card after his reckless tackle on Reece James as it went from bad to worse for Norwich.

Ben Gibson earned himself a red card after his reckless tackle on Reece James as it went from bad to worse for Norwich.

Tim Krul endured a miserable time, despite saving a penalty and making a series of strong saves as Chelsea flooded forward.

Tim Krul endured a miserable time, despite saving a penalty and making a series of strong saves as Chelsea flooded forward.

Tim Krul endured a miserable time, despite saving a penalty and making a series of strong saves as Chelsea flooded forward.

Antonio Rudiger was urged to shoot every time he received the ball at the Bridge, as Chelsea beat Canarias

Antonio Rudiger was urged to shoot every time he received the ball at the Bridge, as Chelsea beat Canarias

Antonio Rudiger was urged to shoot every time he received the ball at the Bridge, as Chelsea beat Canarias

The fifth was another incisive run from Hudson-Odoi in the 63rd minute, which crossed into the box and hit Max Aarons, which was enough to fool Krul, who let the ball twist through him. Following sod’s law that no calamity is bad enough that it cannot get worse, Ben Gibson chose the immediate aftermath of the fifth goal to go through James. Having been booked, the subsequent red card was predictable. Maybe he had had enough.

Norwich initially defended better with ten men than before with eleven. Eventually his determination faded, as Rudiger fired on target and Mathias Normann dove like a goalkeeper, reaching out a hand to save. He really was so desperate by then.

Mason Mount stepped forward and Krul lunged to his left to save. Norwich at least applauded something, but only for a few seconds. A quick VAR referral revealed that Krul was well out of line. Mount stood his ground when Barkley and James offered to intervene while Farke was still discussing the draw on the decision, which seemed like the ultimate definition of a moot point.

Ben Chilwell shot his third goal in three Premier League games, making his case in favor of more regular starts with Tuchel.

Ben Chilwell shot his third goal in three Premier League games, making his case in favor of more regular starts with Tuchel.

Ben Chilwell shot his third goal in three Premier League games, making his case in favor of more regular starts with Tuchel.

Mount was the featured artist with his hat-trick, but a weakened Chelsea was like a machine dispatching Norwich

Mount was the featured artist with his hat-trick, but a weakened Chelsea was like a machine dispatching Norwich

Mount was the featured artist with his hat-trick, but a weakened Chelsea was like a machine dispatching Norwich

Norwich already looks doomed for relegation this season, with Daniel Farke's team not winning and with a miserable goal difference.

Norwich already looks doomed for relegation this season, with Daniel Farke's team not winning and with a miserable goal difference.

Norwich already looks doomed for relegation this season, with Daniel Farke’s team not winning and with a miserable goal difference.

Mount stepped forward and drove the ball straight through the middle every second. He will have been doubly pleased not to shy away from replay in the final minutes, when Loftus Cheek drove down the right and faced him and hit home from close range.

As for Norwich, they are a mess. “You can imagine the spirit in the locker room,” said Daniel Farke, who now has 23 points from 47 Premier League games.

“Very often we give away possession,” he continued. ‘We were not fast enough, we were not defending the movements behind the defense, we were not fast enough to press the ball, we were not sharp and aggressive enough in our decision making, we were head slow and it was unnecessary to play with ten men. for 35 minutes. That was not useless. Yes, but other than that, how did you enjoy the game, Mr. Farke?

RELIVE ALL THE ACTION AS IT HAPPENED …

.