A mom says she’s happily married to her gay husband — and they keep their relationship on track with weekly sex feedback sessions.
Brynn Embley, 35, of Ypsilanti, Michigan, describes himself as straight, while her husband Matthew Nielson, 33, identifies as gay or pansexual, saying he’s “more attracted to men than women.”
The couple have been dating since 2017 and have two daughters: Amandine, two, and Guinevere, one.
The couple are members of the Church of Jesus Christ and Latter-day Saints — a faith that doesn’t condone same-sex relationships — and Matthew admits that the idea of being single and celibate forever was a strong motivating factor for dating women. to date.
He dated men and women before dating Brynn, but had never had sex with anyone, including her, before they tied the knot.
The unconventional couple keeps their relationship on track with therapy and weekly sex talks scheduled every Thursday, where they give each other feedback and tips.
Brynn Embled, 35, and Matthew Nielson, 33, of Ypsilanti, Michigan, have been together since 2017 and have two daughters, despite Matthew being more attracted to men than women. In the picture with their daughter Amandine, two
Brynn said, “We enjoyed kissing and hoped that everything else would at least be okay.
“I think a lot more people are gay, bi, pan, or anything else than have publicly announced that.
“A lot of my previous relationships revolved around that chemical attraction, which wasn’t the driving force refreshing.
“I think liking and matching with a person is so much more central to a long-term relationship.
The couple, pictured, belong to the Church of Jesus Christ and Latter-day Saints, which does not condone same-sex marriage
“And it turns out the sex thing works just fine, so it all worked out!”
Matthew added: “I had never had sex before, with a man or a woman.
‘I didn’t even know how strong my orientation towards one sex or the other could be.
“Although I was more attracted to men, in general there were a few women that I was really attracted to.
“I had a strong motivation to try really hard to make it work with a woman so that I wouldn’t have to be lonely and celibate for the rest of my life.
“Obviously it’s not a great place for me or most of the women I was dating.
“I’ve heard gay men say they can’t even imagine trying to be sexual with a woman, and I’ve never felt like that.
Matthew, pictured, said he partially identifies as pansexual, meaning he’s attracted to people regardless of their gender, but admitted he’s more attracted to men than women, pictured with Brynn
“It’s still not the strongest part of our relationship, it’s easy for me to wonder what I would miss if I was in a relationship with a man.
“But that said, we do enjoy sex and being together that way is a breath of fresh air!”
Brynn first met Matthew at church in early 2016 and just a few dates later revealed he was gay.
Matthew knew he was attracted to men since he was a teenager, but the Church of Jesus Christ and Latter-day Saints does not encourage same-sex relationships.
He dated women in his twenties while being honest about his sexuality, which got mixed reactions, so he was nervous about what Brynn would think.
But to his surprise, she shook it off.
The couple broke up early in their relationship because Matthew, in the photo, had strong feelings for another man. However, he got back together with Brynn, also pictured, and they got married
The happy couple have two daughters, pictured, and have sex feedback sessions once a week to discuss their sexual needs
The mother of two said: ‘He looked straight at me and said, ‘Brynn, I’m gay’.
“I remember because he seemed so serious—or like he was looking for some sort of response from me.
“It just wasn’t a big deal, he was with me, his choice – what else mattered?
“I already knew we didn’t have a strong chemical attraction like I’d experienced with other boyfriends, but I didn’t really care.
“I know he thinks I’m attractive, and I know he’s attracted to me, and his sexual orientation didn’t negate those things.
“I was really happy to be in a relationship where the selling point was that you liked and respected each other as people.”
They dated for a few months before he ended their relationship, in part because Matthew had strong feelings for a man.
He said, “I don’t think I had much emotional bandwidth at the time because I was still trying to deal with my strong feelings for another man.
“It didn’t feel fair to either of us to keep the relationship going if I wasn’t sure of that fundamental attraction.”
Mormonism Explained – From Why Missionaries Go Door To Door To Its Polygamous Beliefs
- Mormonism is the predominant religious tradition of the Latter Day Saint movement of Restorationist Christianity, founded by Joseph Smith in upstate New York in the 1820s.
- Mormons spend a great deal of time and resources serving in their churches, and many young Mormons choose to work full-time as converts and go door-to-door.
- Alcoholic drinks, tobacco, coffee, tea and other addictive substances are prohibited.
- Premarital sex and same-sex relationships are also prohibited.
- Tattoos and piercings, with the exception of one pair of earrings on women, are not recommended.
- In the 1800s, a minority of Mormons openly practiced plural marriage, a form of religious polygamy.
- The center of Mormon cultural influence is in Utah, and North America has more Mormons than any other continent.
They remained friends, but even Brynn’s boyfriend at the time said they had chemistry, and they started dating again in September 2017.
Matthew, a postdoctoral researcher in psychology, said: ‘It was definitely a leap of faith because I was still not sure what sex with Brynn, or any woman for that matter, would look like.
“But we trusted that the other elements of our relationship were there and if that part was more difficult, we could work on it together.”
Brynn said, “There was a mutual sense of complete and utter happiness—as if he were my person.”
Matthew added: ‘I was still unsure about the strength of our sexual connection.
“I tried to be as open as possible so that I wasn’t sure whether I would enjoy sex with her or with any woman.
Matthew admitted he is still unsure of the strength of the sexual bond he has with Brynn (pictured with their daughters)
“But I think we were both reassured that we enjoyed cuddling, holding hands and kissing.”
They went to Manti, Utah to finally tie the knot on December 27, 2017 and could finally be intimate with each other.
Brynn said, “For a while I would get stressed if we didn’t have sex a certain number of times a week because I thought it meant Matthew wasn’t enjoying it enough.
“It’s not, and I’m trying to remember that if we both feel sexually satisfied, that’s all that matters.”
Pansexuality: The Sexual Orientation That Doesn’t Care About Gender
Pansexuality defines a sexual orientation that does not care about gender.
People who are pansexual say they feel a sexual, romantic, or emotional attraction to people that is not based on the gender they identify with.
Pansexuality is considered a sexual orientation in its own right, just like straight or gay.
Some people also draw a parallel with bisexuality, but bisexuality recognizes the existence of two genders while pansexuality does not.
They even have weekly sex talks scheduled for every Thursday.
Brynn said, “We share if we need more, if there’s anything the other can do to make that a better part of our marriage, and so on.”
Although Brynn is a straight woman, Matthew’s sexuality is not linear and he has identified as gay, pansexual and bisexual.
He said, “Pansexual is probably the most accurate, but it doesn’t feel quite right because I’m still mostly attracted to men.”
The unusual couple has been in a relationship for four years now, is happy and monogamous and has two daughters: Guinevere, one, and two-year-old Amandine.
Brynn said, “Our religion teaches that marriage is only between a man and a woman, but we also want our children to be happy and secure in who they are and what or who they choose and are attracted to.
“Our goal is to support them, however that may seem.
“There are also people who assume things about our relationship that just don’t make sense,
“I really try not to focus on the negative or be put off by negative comments – but they do, and one way to counter that is to share.
“We are so happy in this quirky, unique, sublime relationship.”