Mark Hoppus revealed on Wednesday that the depression he suffered after being diagnosed with cancer robbed him of his will to live.
The 50-year-old Blink-182 bassist once recalled his lymphoma diagnosis when he “cryed in the living room” as he told his wife Skye, “I don’t know if I can do this,” according to a new interview with People.
But the deepest depths of the musician’s depression have since dissipated, and he’s back in the grips of his old life since doctors declared him cancer-free in September 2021.
Dark days: Mark Hoppus, 50, revealed in a Wednesday interview with People that he had contemplated suicide during the darkest parts of his cancer journey; seen in November 2021
Hoppus explained how “dark” his thoughts had become after his tearful confession to his wife.
‘She said, ‘Well, what are you going to do, kill yourself?’ And that’s exactly what I thought. It was quite dark,’ he said.
But he found his wife’s blunt question a “total snap-out-of-it moment” that helped dispel the negative thoughts.
‘I was like, ‘What a *** thing to say.’ But also, what a friendly something to say, like, “Get out, you f***ing baby. You’ve got a cancer to beat. It won’t be fun getting there, but you’ve got to get there.” I had to do the work.’
He said it out loud: Hoppus recalled tearfully admitting, ‘I don’t know if I can do this’ to his wife Skye, who asked, ‘Well, what are you going to do, kill yourself?’
Wake-up call: he thought his wife’s blunt question was a ‘snap-out-of-it moment’. ‘I was like, ‘What a *** thing to say.’ But also, what a nice thing to say, like “Keep it busy, you f***ing baby”‘
Although Hoppus’s cancer was already in stage four when he was diagnosed in April 2021, indicating that the cancer had already spread from his lymph nodes to at least one organ – according to the American Cancer Society – Lymphoma is more treatable at that advanced stage than some other cancers.
Still, he said the chemotherapy treatments he underwent were “cruel.”
“I had no energy and ended up laying on the couch to get through the day,” he said. “I had the worst brain fog.”
The pop-punk rocker recalled one time he was dining with friends when he realized he couldn’t remember the first name of one of his friends’ husbands.
“And it was like that all the time,” he added. “I still feel it once every few days—I’ll forget a word—but it’s much better.”
From it: “I had no energy and I ended up laying on the couch just getting through the day,” he said. ‘I had the worst brain fog,’ he said of his ‘brutal’ chemotherapy treatments
Mark also revealed that discovering a lump was what started his cancer journey.
“I texted my doctor, ‘Hey, weird lump on my shoulder. It’s either a pulled muscle or a deadly lymphoma,'” he said. “I tried to make a joke of it.”
But his amateur diagnosis turned out to be the right choice. In addition to the tumor on his shoulder, doctors discovered several others, including tumors in his stomach and elsewhere in his abdomen, along with a worrying tumor on his neck the size of a grape.
Adding to the confusion and chaos of the early days after the diagnosis was when he accidentally posted a bit of gallows humor – a photo of himself captioned “Hello, yes. One cancer cure please” – to social media, rather than the friend he wanted to send it to.
But after his five months of treatment and his cancer remission, Hoppus is slowly returning to normal.
‘I’m doing well today. The recovery is taking a lot longer than I hoped, but I’m in a much better place,” he said. “I feel like I have a second chance at life.”
On the rise: in September 2021 he was declared cancer-free. “I’m fine today. The recovery is taking a lot longer than I hoped, but I’m in a much better place,” he said. ‘I feel like I have a second chance at life’