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Dating Expert: What Men and Women Say vs. What They REALLY Mean

What singles say vs what they REALLY mean is revealed in a damningly honest new dating guide – from ‘I’ve got a lot going on’ to ‘I don’t want no drama’

  • Louanne Ward, a relationship expert, has shared her new dating dictionary
  • It contains 41 common phrases and what she thinks their true meaning is
  • Sentences include “I’m not looking for a relationship” and “I’m not usually jealous”


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Louanne Ward has been in the dating industry for over two decades

Louanne Ward has been in the dating industry for over two decades

One of Australia’s leading relationship coaches has a fascinating new ‘dating dictionary‘ comparing what men and women say with what they really mean.

After more than two decades in the industry, Louanne Ward, from Perth, has seen time and again that what a love interest says and what they believe are often two completely different things.

“If their words and actions don’t match, this could be why modern dating is a modern minefield,” she said.

From ‘we need to take a break’ to the classic ‘it’s not you, it’s me’, they’re starting to hit you with the classic dating one-liners. But what do they really mean? Use this dictionary as a guide to decode their words.

1. ‘I’m not looking for one’ relationship now’

“I want to keep my options open OR I’ve been hurt in the past and want to avoid it.”

2. ‘I’m fine’

“It’s not going well, the shit is about to hit the fan.”

3. ‘I don’t want to ruin our friendship’

“There’s no chance I’ll ever be with you.”

4. ‘Sorry I didn’t call, I’m just so overwhelmed’

“You’re low on my priority list, I’ll call if I don’t have anything better to do.”

5. ‘Do what you want, I don’t mind’

‘I’d rather you do what I want. But I’m testing you to see if you’re ignoring what I want.’

WHAT THEY SAY: 'You're all I want, I'm just damaged' WHAT THEY MEAN: 'I'm not willing to work through my past traumas to be with you'

WHAT THEY SAY: 'You're all I want, I'm just damaged' WHAT THEY MEAN: 'I'm not willing to work through my past traumas to be with you'

WHAT THEY SAY: ‘You’re all I want, I’m just damaged’ WHAT THEY MEAN: ‘I’m not willing to work through my past traumas to be with you’

6. ‘It’s not you, it’s me’

“It’s actually you, not me. I’m just trying to make you feel better.

7. ‘I don’t know what my plans are right now. May I let you know?’

“I’ll wait until the last minute and see if something better comes along.”

8. ‘You’re all I want, I’m just damaged’

“I’m not willing to work through my past traumas to be with you.”

9. ‘Sorry I haven’t been in touch, I have a lot to do right now’

“My needs are more important than your feelings.”

10. ‘Normally I’m not jealous’

“I feel insecure with you and have trust issues.”

WHAT THEY SAY: “I’m too old for this” WHAT THEY MEAN: “I’m avoiding responsibility for my past breakups and using my age as an excuse”

11. ‘I just don’t want drama’

“Drama follows me wherever I go.”

12. ‘I don’t need a man, but I would like to have one’

“I don’t want to make room in my life and I’m too scared to admit I’m lonely.”

13. ‘I have to work on myself now’

“I’d rather be alone than try with you.”

14. ‘I’m Too Old For This Shit’

“I’m avoiding responsibility for my past breakups and using my age as an excuse.”

Dating App Dictionary: What People Say Online vs What They Mean

‘Sorry for the late response, I’m terrible at dating apps’

‘It’s not serious to meet someone. It’s a game for me.’

“I’ll text you later in the week to make a plan”

“I’m keeping my options open in case something better comes along.”

‘I’m new here and don’t really know how everything works’

“I expect you to teach me and take my ignorance into account.”

‘I just like getting to know someone before meeting them in person’

“I’m going to analyze and judge everything you say before I even meet you.”

“I didn’t mean to ghost you, life has been crazy”

“It’s all about me, your feelings don’t matter.”

WHAT THEY SAY: 'It's nice to finally match up with a normal person' WHAT THEY MEAN: 'I think I'm better than other people'

WHAT THEY SAY: 'It's nice to finally match up with a normal person' WHAT THEY MEAN: 'I think I'm better than other people'

WHAT THEY SAY: ‘It’s nice to finally match up with a normal person’ WHAT THEY MEAN: ‘I think I’m better than other people’

‘I don’t like talking on the phone, I prefer to communicate via text’

“I’m hiding something.”

‘Are you communicating with someone else? You’re the only one I talk to’

“I am needy and have unrealistic expectations.”

‘It’s nice to finally match with a normal person’

“I think I’m better than other people.”

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