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Are you being abandoned? New Dating Trend: Daters Refuse to Post Partners on Their Social Media

With cuffing season in full swing, singletons everywhere will be connecting with new partners who are ready to show off their budding relationships on Instagram.

But if you’ve noticed that your partner is hesitant to show off with your friends and family online, you could be the victim of “pickpocketing” — where a person refuses to acknowledge their relationship on social media.

The term means that a new partner actively avoids acknowledging your existence online and makes every effort not to introduce you to any of their friends and family.

While it doesn’t necessarily mean the person is cheating, relationship expert at eharmony Rachael Lloyd says those who do it often want to reap the benefits of a relationship while also living a “single life online.”

For example, the person who “pockets” their partner may want to like certain photos or message other social media users without them knowing they are in a relationship.

Relationship expert at eharmony Rachael Lloyd claimed that those who “pocket” their partners do so as a “power play” and often want to reap the benefits of a relationship while also living a single life online. stock image

Signs that you’re being “bagged” include your partner never responding to your comments on social media, removing your tagged photos from their profile, and never adding your tagged story to their account.

Alex Mellor-Brook, co-founder of dating agency Select Personal Introductions, said that this trend is especially noticeable around the Christmas season, as people in a budding relationship expect to meet their new partner’s loved ones.

Meanwhile, Elaine Parker, dating expert and CEO of Safer Date, claimed it could also be a sign of a controlling partner being “insecure or jealous” of their significant other.

Here, Femail reveals the tell-tale signs of a partner you pocket, and what to do if you suspect your partner isn’t as committed as you think.


Rachael said: ‘As the name suggests, pocket money is when a partner keeps their significant other in their ‘pocket’ – out of sight.

“In the current context, it refers to keeping a partner hidden on social media platforms, whether it’s failing to share photos of the relationship or tagging each other in posts.”

From bubbly to hesitant: the best dating trends of 2022

Plenty of Fish has revealed the dating trends that will go viral in 2022:

modern love: Given the COVID-19 vaccination status, including which injection was received, as a desirable trait. With over a third (37%) of singles admitting this, there seems to be another reason to get poked!

bubbling: Being unsure of the physical limits that are acceptable because of Covid-19, such as hugging, shaking hands, or waving to your date. Now there are nerves, excitement AND physical faux pas to consider on dates where 58% experience this.

hesitate: Feeling indifferent about dating, unsure if you want to date seriously or casually because life in general is so uncertain right now. An affair or a full commitment? Who knows, because at the moment 58% of the singles are hesitant.

Pier Pressure: Going out on your date because they disagreed with your opinion is a common dating disaster where 50% know someone who has done this. Advice to avoid? Don’t bring up the pandemic, money or politics.

Great deal: Seducing someone just for their profession. While Jack Grealish stole the hearts of the nation this summer, a quarter (25%) of all singles also know what it feels like to be attractive to their chosen career path.

transform: Turn into your counterpart by dressing and acting like them. Thanks to a certain improbably famous couple (Kravis, we’re looking at you) nearly one in five (18%) have had their date play copycat.

Residence: Finding a romantic connection with someone who has been in your life for a very long time is the case for 23% of singles. Forget the holidays, maybe love is all you need after all.

diving: Get caught up in a whirlwind romance full of drama. 46% know someone who has done this a la Duke of Hastings and Daphne Bridgerton of Netflix’s Bridgerton. .

Turned off: When your friends warn you about the red flags when you are dating someone new but decide to ignore them. A notorious player? Talking about their ex? Just bad vibes? 42% of hopeless romantics have chosen to ignore them all.

Gambit’ing: A strategic and calculated approach to the dating game like a chess game. Almost a quarter (24%) know someone who has done this. Whether it’s several dates a week or the same dates, or a different person – they are masters of the dating game.

to communicate: Using dating apps and social media to make friends and connections, not just for dating and intimate relationships, is popular among 40% of singles. The more friends the better, right?

Elaine added: “You wonder, are they ashamed? Are they secretly dating someone else?

As the term goes, being in someone’s ‘pocket’ can cause a lot of anxiety and stress and make you feel like the relationship isn’t serious for them.

Alex claimed the trend becomes more prominent over Christmas, adding: “It’s the time of year when we expect to be invited to meet our new other half’s friends and family, the ones closest to your new date.” except not you.

“If this happens, it means you’re in the sack and you’ll only be brought out when they want or need your company — they won’t make you a full part of their lives.”


“One surefire way to recognize that you’re in the sack is to watch your partner’s behavior on social media,” Rachael said.

“If they don’t share photos you’ve tagged them in on your Instagram story, don’t respond to comments, or never share photos of you together, it’s a strong argument that you might be in the sack. ‘


“At its core, pocket money is a power game,” Rachael said. The ‘pocketer’ holds all the power by not acknowledging your existence on social media.

“It’s likely that if they don’t acknowledge the relationship online, they only partially acknowledge it in real life.

“For example, they may not introduce you to their close friends or family, even after a few months of dating. This way they can continue to live a single life online, while still reaping the benefits of a couple in real life.’

Elaine agreed: ‘This kind of controlling behavior can occur as a result of past experiences and amplify when they feel a certain amount of insecurity or jealousy towards their significant other.

“They may also fear judgment from others, whether that be on social media or by friends and family.”

Alex added: “It could be a sign that your partner is cautious because of past relationship experiences and that they don’t want to take risks with intimacy, so it’s not always a completely negative behavior.

“But if your new love interest doesn’t start to warm you up after a few months, it’s probably time to consider whether they’re really interested in a long-term relationship.”


“Pocketing can have a very detrimental effect on the self-esteem of the person in the pocket and erode the chance of a healthy, meaningful relationship,” Rachael said.

It forces them to wonder if they are important enough, if their partner is ashamed of their appearance, or if they are investing more in the relationship than their partner.

In fact, recent research from eharmony has shown that fear of rejection and appearance are the number one concern when it comes to dating, and getting pocketed would certainly contribute to these fears.

“If you recognize it’s happening to you, it’s best to communicate with your partner. Ultimately, good communication skills are fundamental to long-term compatibility, along with the ability to resolve conflicts together.

If you’re trying to discuss the issue and your partner becomes hostile or overly disdainful, it could be a sign that they’re not into it in the long run. Then it’s up to you to decide if this person is really worth your time, love and attention.

Elaine agreed: “The best thing to do is approach your partner. Have an open and honest conversation about how you feel. If they don’t open up or get incredibly defensive, maybe it’s time to reevaluate the relationship and decide if it’s time for a change.”